Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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