The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
operation harelip BJ is a go
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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