My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
