have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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