This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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