I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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