Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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