When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize