I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
