yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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