also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
