You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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