Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
