Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize