Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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