i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
