He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
