Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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