I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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