Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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