I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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