i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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