i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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