So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it glows. i had to have it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
