Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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