i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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