I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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