Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
