Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize