o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
