I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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