so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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