All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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