ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
its not stalking. its research.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
