We won't sleep together?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
