hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
