Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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