It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
