my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
