No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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