Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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