it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
