mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
