My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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