I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
