i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
