I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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