I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
