hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
