i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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