Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
