I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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