dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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