I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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