Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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