i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
