what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
