Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
