rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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