i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
