i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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