Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
