Apparently you make a good broom.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
