After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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