I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
