Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I faked an abortion last night.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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