how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
