Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
