Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
